compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Be sure to wear a flower in your hair my last entry feels like so long ago. I guess it was, in come ways. I have now completed the full two months on the farm. I got up every day for most of the time I was there at 6 30am to milk the goats, did solid labor for a long time and then milked the goats again at 6 pm, had dinner and went to sleep to do it all again in the morning. At some point in there I got over my boy-slump, thank god. At some point I realized the happiness of self-contentment, which I have known at points in my life but sometimes I forget. Anyway, now I am in SF, living a city life all of a sudden. Everything seems new and wondrous. I have literally fallen in the friendship of the first two new people I have literally met in this city. One of them is about 47 years old I think. We met at a music festival I volunteered at right before my farming stint was over. He is small and bald wears glasses and sounds exactly like woody allen. He was wearing a bright onesie with geometric shapes all over it. I told him he looked like peewee on acid, but that's probably because I was on acid. Then we had sex. Which was stupid, I know. But I forgot what real human interaction was for some time after being on the farm, and I was on drugs. Also I thought he looked like Peter Sellers a little bit. Anyway as you know that's not usually my style to have sex with someone I just met. It has happened though in previous times me meeting people who expect such things from me upon meeting. This was one of those situations. I have in previous situations avoided it because I was a virgin. But, since I'm not anymore, I didn't have as much of an incentive to make it clear that I wasn't interested. I like him as a person, but not in that way. I thought at first it would be neat and interesting dating an older man, especially an artist. It got old really quick though. So now i need to break it to him. I'm not good at these things. In other news, I met someone else, also a bit older than me, but not by as much, at the same music festival. He was who I wanted but I didn't know how to interact with him. Anyway he was super sweet and became friends not only with me but my supposed oldmanfriend. he let us stay at his house when I got into SF, even though he thought we were together and didn't seem to have any gains out of the situation. But then oldboy left and we spent a fantastic 24 hours together, me and..lets just call him mr. motorcycle. He rides one of those. Classic, I know. Anyway, so now I am sort of starting to like mr. motorcycle. This is complicated because oldboy still likes me and I think expects something of me. But I moved on long ago in my head. Anyway I'm dreading breaking the news to him. Also he has all of my stuff in his car. Also, I am breaking the number one rule of traveling: don't start liking people you meet on the road. It ruins subsequent travelling plans. It makes you want to stay somewhere and shit.. ugh. I can't believe myself. The positive part is that I lived boy-free for a good 2 months in my prime. Although when I was in it I was like "god damn I am in my prime and theres no one to even look at me." but now looking back it was nice to have some solid time for myself. Another sort of retreat will be necessary again in my life at some point. and thank god for those right? I am more tired than hungry so I think I'm going to go to sleep very soon. Goodnight. 11:49 p.m. - 2009-10-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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