compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- upgrade so...home isn't terrible. After the course of last friday and therafter, this break actually feels like a break. Well, as soon as I got in the car of my dad and my stepmom, they got into an argument about me. She kept on getting angry at me...mostly for little shit. well, thats over. I like the fact that I have some control over what happens to me here, that I don't have in college. Even if this control is the temperature of my shower water, what I eat and when I eat it, and if I want to do nothing or less then nothing. Even if I feel like talking to people or not. Choices like this are theraputic right now. I really miss choices. I really miss doing things to and for myself, as oposed to people just doing things to me or things just happening to me. This feels good. Right before I left, I applied to a greenpeace internship and a two week study abroad thing to brazil, both in the summer. I need more autonomy in my life, and this was a desperate attempt at that. I need more autonomy. I need to be alone for a little while. I need to learn to stop caring about others so much and care more about myself. I need to be selfish. 3:20 p.m. - 2006-03-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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