compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- kiss my ass...goodbye okay, so it's been a while. Honestly I've been trying to keep the entries sparse, because a certain person, namely lacey, reads this and then finds it necessary to cite as a reason to judge my every action and word. okay, so i'm telling anyone who reads this now: If my diary makes you angry and hateful, then just save both of us the energy and don't read it. I decided one person shouldn't be a reason to stop writing in this thing that I've had since 8th grade. So right now i'm on break, waiting for college to start up again soon. I thought i'd really be waiting for winter break, at the end of my senior year, that my friends were "lifelong." Ha. what a joke. I mean, there are a few of them that I care to keep in contact with, and a few more I wouldn't mind seeing or running into, but for the most part..fuck that. People were shitty to me all throughout school, and I realized I was so beaten up and had zero standards for people anymore. For some reason the other day waking up, I felt the need to recollect exactly HOW bad my school days have been..let me just summarize: 1st grade - given the silent treatment and accused of talking shit about a girl that I thought was god.. so yeah. I think a part of me is just so much happier that that part of my life is over. I've just realized how that constant pile of shit being dumped on me has sort of left me a self concious, self loathing, misanthropic cynic. But I mean, at least now I can be happy in knowing that its all over. COllege is so freeing. Although weird shit can happen (look to previous entry), its nothing like the mind boggling hell hole which was grade school. And I appreciate that. A lot. and a further note: the guy that I liked that told me I looked like his left nut, he got kicked out of highschool and became an alcoholic. That sort of makes me feel good, as shitty and vindictive as that sounds. I mean, he didn't JUST tell me I looked like his left nut. But we won't get into that. I mean, whatever. I'm sure he's a great (alcoholic) guy right now, and we've all moved on with our lives.. now that that's all out of my system I feel so much better. Maybe it's also time to stop wearing my highschool class ring too..I mean, I dunno. god...two more weeks. and then I'm back in college. I can't wait.. Me and crissy and tony went to NYC for new years. I'm sure there more I could say about that but maybe we'll save that for another time..You and me diaryland, we have some catching up to do. 2:29 a.m. - 2006-01-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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