compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- all we are is dust in the wind Oh man. So today's my last day until I move into the big COLLEGE. Yeah. Actually, so far I couldn't have asked for a better couple of last days. Yesterday Tuyen, Ben, and Amanda F all hung out. We did god knows what until 6, and then picked up amanda and had a night on the town in Ellicott Citay. We had dinner at the Phoenix, and then stopped by to see spencer, where we had a bonfire and roasted marshmellows, drank some castille, and talked about random philosophical things. It was quite nice. It really made me happy. I don't think I felt more at peace with myself then just then. I hope they are always my friends. I went to sleep late copying CDs, but I also sat around and read Chicken soup for the College Soul that I got from goodwill the other day. ha. It's cheesey, but some of the stories are a really good read. I went to sleep at around 3, but got up at 9 this morning to appease my mom because she said she was leaving early, plus my physics teacher got in a really bad accident while riding his bike, and so a bunch of us were meeting at Amanda D's to then make a scrapbook and go visit him. So anyway, up at 9, actually ate some breakfast, and then I helped my mom pull weeds like I promised her a long while ago. Before I left to eventually for Amanda's, my mom started bitching about how I need to help her order a computer. But she is capable of doing it herself which I told her, and I did sit there and pull weeds for her, and I was visiting my ailing physics teacher, so I didn't feel all that guilty about just walking out. So then I drove to Amanda's, the same girl that I had that big drama with junior year. I never thought I would ever be going to her house, but it was kind of a nice feeling. I like all of them. But yeah, so I went, helped them a little with the scrapbook, saw eric bodyslam bobby into amanda's living room carpet, ate some brownies, and finally we all left to see mr m. For me it was kind of weird, cause most of the people there had him for AP physics or track, so compared to them he hardly knows me. But it felt nice doing something nice for somebody that had probably done me a lot of favors (aka teaching me a couple of things). I was expecting him to have completely forgotten my name or been wondering who the hell I was and asking why I was there. He did have to think about it to remember, but he did actually remember my name, and he talked to all of us saying how happy he was that we had all come, and actually personally thanked me for coming. He told us about the accident and how he had broken every bone in his face and had to get reconstructive surgery for 11 hours, and how he wasn't sure if he would make it. But yeah, he looks good now, except for a scar on his nose he doesnt look in bad shape at all. But yeah. So he gave us a speech about never giving up, which seemed a lot more inspiring coming from a guy who had just gotten hit by a truck while riding his bike. He had an awesome backyard, with an apple tree. So a bunch of us picked apples. I was too short to reach the better ones, so Dave spotted a nice big un-holy apple and Bobby let me sit on his shoulders and jump to get it, which I did. I think M took a picture, hahaha. Man..Bobby's so hot. hahaa. Anyway, so that was nice of them. It was a really good apple too. Ben met us there as well, so it was good seeing him on my last day too. While we were there, Cassie called my cell phone. I miss Cassie. So yeah, that was awesome. I was expecting it to be my mom bitching about something, but it was Cassie, all the way from Ohio. so I told her about what happend to M, and her neighbor/my bio teacher had also stopped by, so I said hi for her. It was nice to feel like all us Western kids have a sort of bond, and even at the end of summer we can still hang out and not be strangers, which I hope lasts forever. When we left, M gave me a hug and again personally thanked me for showing up and visiting him. So yeah, then we drove back to Amanda's. Dave gave me a hug, which I was really surprised at. But actually, he's a really cool guy that I feel like I wish I knew better. Earlier in the summer, I woke up randomely and was like..man, I'll really miss Dave. But yeah, so that made me really happy actually. I feel like the whole Ben and I thing has a peaceful ending. Well not exactly ending, because I hope at least that we'll always be friends. But at least, conclusion to a chapter. Yesterday when we hung out, we lost Tuyen at the dollar store getting stuff for the scrapbook, and we just goofed around and it was exactly like old times. So in a sense, nothing's changed. Just circumstances, but that's okay. On the way to visit my teacher today, Akash (who was driving) played Dust in the Wind. Last time I heard it in a car was Mike's funeral. Then it made me peacefully sad. But this time I felt peacefully happy. Feeling like simply dust in the wind can almost be empowering. Yesterday around the campfire Tuyen was like "I think I'd be happy cold or hot." We were talking about our preferences in weather. But it got me thinking. It was a nice thought, to be happy in any situation. To "placate yourself" as she said. Which is actually a very nice thought. So today even though I only got 5 hours of sleep and woke up and picked weeds, I was happy. I was happy every second of today. After coming back from our Physics teacher run, I went and got my eyebrows done. The lady who did them also did my hair for prom..so we have like one of those barber-type relationships...almost. Anyway, she wished me goodluck in college. It felt like I was visiting all my old haunts. haha. I came home and my dad picked me up, we went to best buy for a couple last minute gadgets. Then we went to carrabba's with my stepmom, and I actually finished everything I ordered, and only got water instead of soda. I was proud of myself. I came home, returned some library books, and hung out with Jessica because she lives near the library and she wanted to see me before I left. We just walked around and talked, and she told me how much she's going to miss me. I will miss her too. I will miss a lot of things. But that's okay, I think if I tried hard enough the things that matter the most can always be within my reach. The people I miss will hopefully miss me too, and that's good enough until we can see each other again. So now I'm here. A long day. But a fulfilling one. 10:54 p.m. - 2005-08-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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