compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- strange times man, its been a while since I wrote. Well yeah, a few things have happend since the last entry. Ben, tuyen, wendy and I all got together and watched Donnie Darko. It was a pretty nice time. No awkwardness really..except when Ben left, he just like got up and said something about picking up his brother at the airport, and walked out..it was strange. But besides that, it was pretty fun. It was nice seeing Wendy again too. On a somewhat random tangent, Ben and I still had the tendency to say the exact same things at the same time. Well not like everything we say. Usually just some idle conversation. But still, it's the only person that happens to me with, and so it makes me feel nice. ha. So yeah. Anyway. Then a couple days or so after that, I called him about hanging out before he leaves for Colorado (he went on a vacation to Colorado, then is coming back only for a few days, and leaves on Saturday for Ohio for college). He actually seemed like he WANTED to do something. Like, I called him friday night asking him about saturday, but I told him I knew it was shabbat and everything and that he probably couldn't. He was all..Oh no no, I think we could work something out then. It reminded me of old times. So it was nice. On saturday we ended up not meeting up cause we were both really indecisive of what we actually wanted to do, plus he really did had a shabbat thing that evening. We talked on the phone for about 2 hours though. So that was comforting. I took my own advice from the last entry and didn't try to fill in silence with my own meandering voice. But yeah. phew. It was good to feel like friends (or maybe more) again. Then the next day we finally got together. It was alright, we went to barnes and noble. He bought this one book that I hated, but got kind of angsty when I tried to talk him out of it, so I just let him buy it anyway. he also bought Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, which to me seemed like a strange symbol of our relationship coming full circle. Once at lunch we were talking about it, and then for Prom he gave me a red rose, and said it was because we were talking about alice in wonderland. And then finally, probably the last time we'll hang out before college, he bought the book. I wonder if he thought about it at all that way..I know when and if I ever read that book, all I'll be thinking about is him. We looked at CD's and movies and stuff. At times it was awkward, but things were pretty comfortable near the end I think. I dunno. I came to terms that that may be the last time I see Ben for an indeffinate long time. Which is sad..but..I dunno. It wasn't a terrible ending. I do hope we remain friends though, and keep in touch and all. I maaay see him this week, but I doubt it. Well after that, tuyen wendy and I hung out. We went to the YMCA, then for pizza. Tuyen left when we got to Wendy's , and I stayed until they kicked me out cause they were having dinner. hahaha. Wendy and I had a nice long conversation about a few things, it was good talking to her again. She left a few days ago for college..Which is weird. Cause she's always lived here, ever since I was little. I guess its not as weird as with Cassie leaving though. She left today. The day before yesterday, we hung out. It was nice, we just bought some pudding and icecream, the pudding we never ended up making. Then Dave came over and we listened to Bon Jovi on record and had a pillow fight..Then we spun some Blind Faith and sat around and talked. It was really a nice time. I think I started missing her from the minute I left her house that night, around 1 30 am. i had helped her pack a little bit too. I hung out with Vy and Thy the other day as well. They actually paid for my dinner, which was awesome. haha. We had a smiling contest, on who could smile the longest, and I won. oh man. We're dorks. We rented Love Actually, which I didn't really like too much, but that may be because right now i'm relatively cynical towards love, plus its nowhere near christmastime. On a side note, for those who follow these things, seth broke up with kim. I don't really care though, just thought i'd like to let my long-time readers know (hahahaha...as if I have those). Actually if anything, I feel bad for Kim. She should have broke up with Seth before he broke up with her. Just so he would know exactly how it felt. Plus he deserved a dumping much more then she did, in my opinion. So I did a bit of my packing today. Its a pretty odd feeling. My mom and I had a little cook-out. And randomely she was like..hey, I'll miss you. It really made me sad. I guess I'll miss her too. But it sounded really sincere. I'll miss a lot of things from home. Definettely including my parents. I told her that i'd miss her too and she was like "Well I HOPE you miss me!" which kind of reminded me of how I feel about Ben and Cassie. That I really desperately hope they miss me as much as I'll miss them. Maybe I got that paranoia from my mom. I dunno. Man..I'm tearing up just writing about it. College will be so weird. I dunno. I guess in a way I'm excited, but I'm also scared about all the possible scenarios, and everything that could go wrong. It's also just weird, everyone's moving away at the same time, including me. I don't know how people deal with this odd time in life. another random tangent, I found a condom in my room today, in this little box that otherwise has uno cards, and my old book-it pins. Why the hell is there a condom in there? I have no idea. It was kind of disturbing. but anyway. Yeah...this is a weird time.I guess I should just make the most out of the little time I still have here. 11:07 p.m. - 2005-08-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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