compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- craziness So I've been feeling a little better since the last entry. The day after the art thing, I talked to Ben and he made me feel a lot better about it all, by being pretty nice to me. I figure..I dunno. It's just one Art show, and I guess I can choose to take is as fuel to help me get better rather then an obstacle to hurt my weak ego. I dunno. I don't feel like thinking about it anymore. Sunday..I don't remember what I did on Sunday, I think I just slept all day. Monday t and I hung out, I ended up spending 25 on a pedicure and manicure and consequently now I have no money. It felt worth it at the time though, I got it done for graduation. Yesterday....yesterday was crazy. I don't know if you would describe yesterday as good luck or bad luck.. so yesterday we had senior breakfast at school, and some asshole juniors decided to take up space in the senior parking lot (and my parking space), so i had to park in the street. As I stopped to park, the car behind me swerved to avoid hitting me, into the oncoming traffic lane. The girl in the oncoming car swerved to avoid him, and hit a parked van. Nothing happend to my car, but I got severely yelled at by a guy with some gold teeth fronts (the car behind me), which i guess is slightly understandable, but not really my fault. After he left, the girls in the other car whispered to me that they knew it was his fault but were scared to say anything cause the guy was pretty scary..haha. theyre these kind of popular girls that go to my school, that I know somewhat.. Anyway, so I waited with them for the police, they asked for my liscence of reg, which i panicked about if i had or not and dumped all the contents of my glove compartment everywhere in my car (yeah so now my cars a mess) but thankfully found. When they heard the story about what happend they didnt need it and "released" me, although they took my name and number down but i hope they dont need it...meh. So yeah that was at about 8 am. What a fabulous start to a day. Senior breakfast and graduation rehearsal was kind of a joke, and when I came back to my car, about 6 birds decided that area was also a fabulous shitting spot, and so i have lots of birdcrap on my car, but thats definettely better then no trunk/rear bumper, which could have happend if the guy rear ended me but miraculously didnt. Then Jess asked me if i wanted to come over. I felt bad saying no, so me lacey and Ben went over and played Life..and watched tv. ick. I hate watching tv when youre with your friends, it seems like such waste of time. I played life in my grad cap, cause my hair all of a sudden looked shitty when i stepped outside that morning, i guess because of the heat and humidity. I had 4 kids in the game, so that was pretty cool, cause i was "having an affair with Ben"..hahahaa. anyway, so after that we went to friendlys and i had to blow my last ten on the food i ate there. Ben had to leave early, even though i thought we were gonna hang out all day cause thats what he had said the day before, but he had some "business" to attend to, either concerning some jewish stuff or a potential job, which I can therefore respect. I did make him give me a hug before he left though. Man, I hope this gets somewhere eventually. I feel like this is elementary school or something, i'm getting all excited about a hug. I need to just make the first move I guess. Anyway, so after friendlys we go across the street to see a guy I kind of know that works at this music store. Well, the story is that he had asked to be my "friend" on myspace a while ago but i never really talked to him, but the other day when i went in to buy strings he recognized me, and he messaged me asking if it was me, so then i started talking to him. So we met in a combination of Bill's/the internet. Which, is decidedly not too creepy/loserish. For some reason he thinks im attractive. But we all know (anyone that reads this at least) that I'm definettely taken by Ben (even though we hardly act like it...and i wish we would) He's a pretty cool guy though, that I'm def trying to be friends with. He majored in guitar, and he teaches guitar so he told me he'd give me a free lesson sometime..Which is exciting, but may be creepy. Ben was like yeah i think he just wants you to come to his apartment..Oh, if only BEN wanted me to come to his apartment (not that he has one...but you get what i mean). Anyway, so we went to visit that guy, and we stuck around for a while until his break and he asked me to go to this restaurant with him. My friends were with me, at first i was weirded out but i decided it was alright since they were there. So we go, come back cause the guy only had a card or something, and then all of a sudden this guy foaming at the mouth wearing a Members Only jacket (aka a heroin addict...litterally) starts talking to us. It went on for what felt like at least half an hour, in which i couldnt quite understand most of what he said since it was majorly slurred..something about me and lacey and jess being hookers and the music dude being an undercover cop, that was going against his work ethic..i dont even know, it was fucked up. The crackhead started messing with music guys tie. Man, if i was him I would have started freaking out by then, but he was pretty brave about it.. So finally we go back into Bill's to hide out from the crackhead, who finally wanders away, and then we all leave in our cars...I saw him on the way home..not good times. In this sense, we were lucky cause we had the music man with us. I mean he wasnt exactly super manly or scary but it was better then being three teenage girls running into a crackhead on the street...much better. Oh, and earlier a motorcyclist with two huge american flags on the end of his cycle (obviously a redneck) cut me off pretty badly and then HE flipped ME off. That's the first time that happend. I was confused. But whatever. he could have had a shotgun or osmething..haha..I think it takes a real pessimist to be an optimist. Anyway, so today we had grad rehearsals again, and then the awards ceremony. Of course, I didnt win anything and the girl who won the prize at the art show won the art award. I kind of expected that and i didnt feel bad about it. I knew it was coming, and its not like she rubbed it in my face or anything. T won like half the awards, and cassie won a bunch too. Actually a bunch of my friends won things. It kind of makes me feel pretty mediocre that I didnt really get recognized for anything in high school, but maybe I'm saving the difference I'll make for the big sea as opposed to the little pond that all us "big fish" are it. Then again, maybe not. Well Ben didn't win anything either, and he's pretty special (as in not mediocre..haha). So I don't feel too bad..it just felt like a waste of time when i couldve been sleeping. So then afterwards I ended up going with the saludictorian, this other guy I know, and Ben to the movies, and ended up seeing the longest yard. I dunno, it was kind of weird, but Ben's hung out with my friends a few times so I figured I'd owe it to him to hang out with his friends as well. It was pretty fun actually, theyre all right guys and they have nice cars. theyre both going to my college next year...yippee. Afterwards we ate at checkers, and yeah. When I came home my mom had called some of my friends and found out i went to the movies. When she asked who i went with i didnt know what to say cause i didnt know which friends she had called to find out..I should have just made up a girls name or just named someone whose number she didnt have, but i had just come out of the summer heat and wasnnt thinking that clearly, so i cleverly said "i dont know" which meant to her I went exclusively with Ben. So then she gave me a speech about how i shouldnt be dating him because he "looks like an old man" or some stupid bullshit. That was embarrassing and unneccessary. Anyway..I treid to take a nap but was interrupted by my mom yelling, and then it was 6 50 and I ran out of the door because I had fencing at 7, and i needed to pick up cassie. She wasnt as mad as i thought she was going to be about me being late, and yeah. fencing was alright today, the other club members mostly made fun of us because we're stupid or something, and most fencing people are elitist assholes (or so it seems)..but yeah. it was alright..my wrists hurt now. So yeah..now I'm beat. Graduations tomorrow..ick. I dunno. i kind of just want my diploma and dont want a ceremony. These past few days of rehearsals made me realize that theres little ill miss about high school besides some of the people. I mean there are the teachers, and im sure in due time ill miss the familiarity of the halls, but for the most part theres just a handful of people I truely care about, and I think for all of them I at least have their number. So if I ever want to see them, ill be able to. I'm just going to be sad when Cassie and Ben go to Ohio for college (different colleges...but yeah). Man..im so beat. Time for bed. 1:30 a.m. - 2005-06-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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