compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- few days in high school wednesday. Meh. So, yeah. This weekend was..interesting. After that prom conversation with Seth, the next day I hear from cassie about how lacey says im "manipulative" because i supposedly did something to the situation in order to make him go with me (???) and that kim told her that I gave her ex seth's number so he could harass him. ok..so WHY would I do that..what..the..hell. this girl is really starting to irritate me now. first its just being plain dense, but then when she tells my friends crap about me that isnt true and my friends actually BELEIVE it...thats when I really start to not like you at all. And so about me feeling like I was losing my friends; a friend found out I felt that way and it got back to seth, so he started walking with me and talking to me more, like walking to a couple classes with me. Big effing deal. So kim was upset about that. And after seth was done on the phone with me on friday, apparently he called kim and told her that since she had promised her friend to go to prom with him, seth promised me he was going to go with me. So then kim couldnt bear that awwwful news (which wasn't even true) and ditched her best friend to take seth. Well whatever. Both of them have been equally whiny about this stupid prom business, and it kind of makes me mad that they both get their way just by whining like little babies about everything. But maybe at least now the whining will cease, temporarily. I mean at least seth doesn't make up stories, so that's good. I mean he's genuinely a good guy, he's just...i dunno. ha. today in the morning I saw him and we talked a little bit, and when I came into my first period class the first thing my teacher asks me is, "he's a bit too young for you, isnt he amy?" That kind of caught me off guard. Its funny that whenever anyone sees me talking to a member of the opposite sex it means that i need to hear something about it 10 minutes later. But anyway, she was right in a way and it got me thinking. It also got me a little creeped out about how much she could possibly know about that situation, but it's probably me just being paranoid. anyway..So lacey and I had a talk about her thinking all this crap that wasnt even true (and telling cassie i was being "manipulative") and she said she was going to make it up to me, but so far this week she's hardly talked to me and i don't really feel like making any effort since none of this is my fault, and i refuse to take any responsibility for things that I haven't done and have simply been accused of doing. Lacey's suggestion was not to talk to seth for a while. Well news flash, I've already tried that. And as of right now, im not going to relinquish a friendship even temporarily just because little stupid baby kim can feel better about herself for a couple days before she finds something or someone new to bitch about. I'm sorry if that sounds mean and dramatic, but i don't feel like taking part in this bullshit anymore. When was this all started? Like, the beginning of october he started liking me? and its the end of february? and all kim's done the whole time is find something to bitch about, even when she gets her fucking way, and im really tired of it. I'm going to talk to him if i feel like it, and i'm going to try to be his friend if i feel like it, and i don't give a shit anymore if she thinks that somehow that's being "manipulative", because people are fucking allowed to have friends. Ugh. drama, its so stupid. I'm so glad this is my last year of high school. Anymore of this and i think i may choose a bullet in my head over another year of this crap. in other news, monday tuyen ben and i went to kelly's and watched pi. It was kind of an odd gathering of people. h was there too, my best friend in middle school whom after that big dramatic fight i hadn't seen much of since. It was odd seeing her again, but she seemed like pretty much the same person, and it wasnt like a big reunion or like an 'ugh, its you' type thing either. I mean, she was just there..and I was just there..It was alright. I never thought i'd find myself hanging out with tuyen, ben, kelly, and h all at the same time. After that tuyen and ben and i went to pizza hut and then went on the obligatory trip to toys r us (something that somehow everyone who comes to my neighborhood with me ends up doing). Ben lives all the way in pikesville, but i picked him up and dropped him off and i was proud of myself that i didn't get excessively lost. ugh. yeah. so today: cassie asks ben reaaaal awkwardly if he would ask me to prom. So now he probably thinks i like him like him or something, which i don't, and now i just feel awkward around him, which i shouldn't. I didn't ask her to do it, but she really really doesn't want me to go with seth and i told her how i was thinking of asking ben, plus she didn't hear the news about seth going with kim so she decided to take matters into her own hands. The intentions were good, but man, he probably thinks im a loser right now. That's like, something i wouldve done freshmen year or in middle school; like get one of my friends to ask some guy to ask me to a dance. So now he probably thinks im a big loser and it's not even my fault. I guess ill have to end up taking that up with him, telling him that i just like him as a friend and telling him that cassie can be a weirdo sometimes, but honestly right now I don't want to bring it up. He said he would ask me but i mean..he probably thinks im a weirdo and AGAIN i don't want prom to be awkward. I mean when i hung out with him on monday it was really cool and stuff, but i was thinking, i also kind of need someone who would dance at prom, and he's not the dancing type. I mean I would still go with him, but i wasn't planning on asking anyone just yet. You gotta shop arouund for these things. I mean he's an awesome guy and all and i'd definettely go with him because he's really cool, but i don't want it to be awkward if he thinks i like him, and i want ot be able to dance with people when i get there. so..yeah. I..don't know. ugh. High school really does live up to the tv shows, the books, and the magazine horror stories. 11:38 p.m. - 2005-02-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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