compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i beleive in the faith that grows so. yes. My days have been going on sort of humdrummy. well..I guess not, really. I can't complain. On monday we got to go to that fieldtrip, we went to the National Art Gallery and saw original Van Goghs, Gaugins, Copleys, Lautrecs, Rembrandts, Monets, Reniors, Picassos, Matisses, and all those cool people. Oh..And a few people I know saw Dave Chappelle at the swatch store in the train station. I was jealous. One, because I didn't know there was a swatch store there and if i did I definettely would have gone, and two because they saw one of the most hilarious people ever and I...didn't. I suggested going Dave Chappelle hunting and everyone laughed but no one was seriously up to it..And i was. Because I am a stalker. They said he was in a bad mood though and when tuyen asked him to be in a picture with them he said "i don't do pictures". Well, that sucks. But i mean if i was a celebrity i'd probably end up hating pictures too. All these random people having pictures of you and some pictures probably come out bad and others end up part of some lame story in a tabloid, and then you go blind from all the flash exposures. Yeah. that would suck. But anyway..Lacey and I hung out at the gallery most of the time we were there, and it was fun. We ended up liking all the nighttime classical paintings, and the ones with oncoming storms in them. They had this one painting of a guy shot lying dead on the floor. I forget who did it. Although I wouldn't want that hanging in my house, it was a good painting. So lacey and I talked about really random crap like how our houses would be if we had wings, and a continuation of the discussion I had with seth around christmas about how the earth would look to us if we were on the moon, and stuff about how me and lace are just so cool that people can't see it (like the mach5000 broke the sound barrier or how jesus broke the awesome barrier). hahaha. man..we are..losers. but in a cool way. ha. i guess. So then I came home from the trip, after stopping at daves to visit, and slept until about 1 30 or so, got up and ate something, and then went back to sleep. The next day (yesterday) I was tired as hell, which made next to no sense. But yeah. So everyone thought i was in a bad mood yesterday. I felt bad about that, about being in a bad mood cause i really didnt want to be but i couldnt help it cause I was sleepy and I wasnt filtering anything I said to people. Anyway. Thankfully today I woke up and was actually awake. School was the usual. Got in a fight with this stupid shithead named jeremy, which is hardly worth mentioning but i figured I would since he likes to bully everyone, and then finally i told him how he doesnt "deserve" his mercedes just because he goes to school and gets good grades (like a lot of people) which is his justification for being a snobby bitch, because he cheats anyway, and that he's a loser. he got all mad and tried to keep on going and everyone was like..shut up Jeremy. Let it go. He kind of started with the personal attacks when he told me i "was just upset cause wendy didn't include me in anything." what? Yeah okay I think I'm over that, by a lot. I realized that at least at the time they were all losers, and i'm glad i never had to hang out with jeremy. He got mad when I told him that too. but whatever. Again, not really worth mentioning but I thought it was funny that he got all flustered. If you know the kid, you'll think its funny. Because in all likelihood if you know him and you're reading this, you hate him too. Anyway.. so today amanda and i visited spencer in his new house, litterally 2 feet away from a restaurant on mainstreet that he works at, his house is ON maintstreet. Its..really awesome. And hanging out with him was nice, although I wasn't quite sure what to say or how to act since he had his girlfriend there too and i never met her before. She was nice though, I guess. Its just weird when you see someone again for the first time in a long time and then they have someone with them whos a complete stranger, so you don't exactly know what to say to them. Although we couldnt get his tv to work to play super nintendo, we ate fries and I heard him play his electric with new humbuckers, which sounded awesome because he can actually play, and..stuff. It was fun. Then when I came home I went with my dad to KFC. ha. i ate a lot today. At lunch I had chicken nuggets dipped in applesauce. yeah thats right applesauce, and it was good. So i'm just happy my eating pattern is back to normal, even if its only just for today. Hopefully I can reorganize my sleeping pattern too. And clean my room. Soon. This entry is weird for me, and im sorry. I'm just in a weird mood. I guess i have to say something about seth in here because i have for the past 3 or 4 months. hm. yeah. I talked to him today, just normal stupid crap. Walking to our cars we talked about the time i fell in the mud and he laughed at me so i kicked his ass and when he came to get me back he slipped and fell on his face. haha. man. good times. sort of. poor guy. I told him i felt bad about that, and he was basically like..why. But yeah, i dunno i find it nice that he can remember stuff between us, because I remember that he told cassie once he liked her and that he "remembers things". So i feel that if he remembers things about us, then part of him does still like me. But then again, its all in my head, like I said before. I know i'm probably drawing the wrong conclusions and its "better to be pessimisstic" like Randhal said. I'm not investing that much trust in him really, i'm just..speculating. And i realize I could be wrong..but. yeah. I dunno i find it better to beleive that he still likes me a little (last time we talked about it, a while ago, he told me he still likes me but "likes kim more") and that we can be friends with a small mutual crush, then to think that he doesnt want anything to do with me, which is what a lot of people are suggesting I think. I dunno. It just doesnt make any sense that way and thinking like that is going to either make it come true or make things weird between us again. So yeah. I mean i'm not going to go out with him if he does stop talking to kim, i've decided that much. we need to "get to know each other better" and he needs to grow up and mature emotionally a little bit. But right now I don't mind the ambiguity of everything. I wish I could find someone else though. I just want to start over. With someone decent who is smart and somewhat attractive and doesnt smell like old dirty socks. smelling good and having red hair would help too, but its not a must, especially the red hair cause its not as common as smelling good. sigh. 8:55 p.m. - 2005-02-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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