compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- im a big kid now I'm gonna be 18 in less then 48 hours..That is..scary. I don't look 18, don't feel 18, dont...smell 18. ha. I dunno. I feel like I should be so much more then I am right now at 18, and I feel like my childhood that I squandered on stupid crap is gone now or something. I mean, I dunno. Cassie's 18 today and she's not taking any phonecalls. I can't say that I blame her. It just..I mean..I don't feel 18. And I guess it's just a number, but like..By law, soon I will be able to vote, and buy a gun (ha), and live alone (lawfully, although I won't), and sign up for the militia. I mean I won't, and ill still probably act like a kid until I'm 30...But still. It's..Old. And I don't want to be old. I want to be like..10. At least I've had my first kiss by 18..So..I guess that's good. I guess. But then again, just about everyone has. Most people are looking to get laiid by 18. But i dont really want to be laid. so at least I don't have that on my list of non-accomplishments. Well..I have one full day left of lawful childhood. Maybe I should be out shooting fireworks or something..Or doing something that later I could be tried as a minor for. ha. But I won't. Besides, its snowing. I really want to go sledding, but I really want to go with cassie and lacey and seth and dave, but that would entail that they all would want to and our respective parents would let us drive to someones house. I know, that was random. So yeah, I'm a little bummed at being 18. I dunno. I told seth that my birthday was monday, and he was all "we're gonna do something then." But I dont know if he actually wants to or not, cause it was his idea to go to the movies and then he bowed out at the last minute, so im not getting my hopes up that ill do much on my birthday, although I want to..do stuff..with people. Actually this week he's been pretty nice to me, and stuff. I'm not taking it as anything more then "I think youre cool and I want to be friends with you," so don't worry. Not that you, the reader of my lame journal, really were worrying. But just in case. But, I do have to say it was nice walking to his car and having him open the door for me like a "gentleman", like he used to back when he "liked" me. And needless to say, it's good being friends with him, or starting to be friends with him, or whatever. I really sound like a whiny loser in my journal a lot lately. Well yesterday was fun. Me and Cassie and Lacey went to the mall, and talked to this one guy who works at spencers who was kind of..weird. not as cool as i was thinking he was going to be, but whatever. And we saw some kids that lacey and cassie knew but I didn't know them..But they were nice I guess. we got on the carousel and on the spinning teacup and spinned so fast that everything was a blur and I swear I was queesy for like..an hour after. But it was really fun. yeaah. My journals getting to be really self deprecating again. And i thought I had (tried to stop) stopped that a while ago. So yeah. hm.. 7:06 p.m. - 2005-01-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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