compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- my almost stupendously awesome weekend sooo. yeah. this weekend was pretty nice. Cassie's was pretty nice. We talked about stuff and watched Kids and made up a song and dance..And looked through old notes of hers. Wow. sooommeone is a hypocrite. Someone with a name that rhymes with "meth". yeeeah. He wrote cass some..interesting..notes back in the day. "The day", being 7 or 8 months ago or so. Its just a little hypocritical that I'm supposed to "just let it go" when he couldnt "let it go" for more then a year, and that situation was different in that cassie wasn't maintaining that she still liked him , nor did she kiss him, or try to go out with him as soon as she broke up with her significant other. But whatever..I guess. I'm letting it go, sort of. I mean it'll fade away I guess. I do want to be his friend though. I mean even though he has plenty, I still think he could use one more. And I think I could use one more myself too (I don't really have plenty). But yeah. I mean I dunno. I guess I should let things happen. But anyway, enough about that.. So then on saturday I went to sarina's 17th birthday party. It was alright I guess. Mostly a lot of family people, who became largely annoying because there was a lot of them and they kept on demanding things from us, like "watch these kids" or "sit over here so you guys can't talk amongst yourselves" or "show me your new car this very instant." But they meant well I guess. Grandpa and Grandma gave me this really nice pen set for christmas...So yeah. It was nice. The pen set I mean. The party was alright too I guess. Good food and good cake, and I got to talk to sarina a little bit, which was nice..Although I'm kind of anti-social otherwise and generally really hate parties like that..but anyway. like I said, it was okay. So then the next day I was at my dads and then when I came home me and nikki hung out. she gave me the first season of Home Movies for Christmas, which was fricken AWESOME. ANNND...I got back my smashing pumpkins and sidekicks cds that she had borrowed more then a year ago (seriously..christmas '03 she borrowed them..)..annnd, I drove us to Target and Barnes and Nobels. At Target I got these ruby red glittery shoes like the ones in the wizard of Oz..get this..for threee dollars. And I got some mary janes for 3 dollars, and a midsummer nights dream on dvd for 5 bucks. Target is now officially awesome. I bought nikkis present there and felt kind of bad cause I hadn't gotten it earlier and she got me something awesome, but I didn't know what to get her and in a way it was good that she got to pick out exactly what she wanted..and..yeah. Then we went to barnes and nobels and I gotmuch ado about nothing for school. annnd..thenn..on our way out it started SNOWING. so yeah. I'm a bad driver sometimes..But I'm getting better..I think. but anyways, so we drove home with the snow falling and listening to My Name is Jonas on full blast and singing our hearts out..sigh. It was fun. And I was excited because today I was suppoossed to see The Life Aquatic with seth and nikki..But..more on that later.. okay so its later now. and yeah. Well I called him after coming back from nikkis and he went to daves, but then he called me a few minutes later in a bad mood because he just got into a fight with someone who shall remain unnamed for the purposes of my journal..heh. I mean I felt bad for him. I guess she didn't mean it, but what she said would really hurt anyone in his situation. And she's been doing that a lot lately. Like..she'll talk to me about seth and kim. Which is pretty much just about the last thing I want to hear about. So then he was all like "blah blah blah I don't want to go because it will be awkward with just you and nikki [i asked him if my friend nikki could come cause she wanted to see it too, they dont know each other or anything, but they'd meet each other and I figured they'd get along] and i thought dave and lacey could go but they can't" and blahdy blah. Well..He was in a bad mood, and he kept on saying "have fun without me.." which made me kind of feel bad, so I asked him if he was suuuure and pooositive that he didn't want to come. Then he said that theres no reason he shouldnt and that he'd call me tomorrow. So i asked my mom about it and she gave me all this crap every 5 minutes about making sure it wasnt just me and seth so as to "not give him the wrong impression." (ha..how ironic) and etc. etc. So yeah. And so he called me today at 9 and practically woke me up telling me that he's deciding not to go because it will be "awkward"..and then nikki couldnt go cause she had to fill in for work..and so I just stayed home and watched the first and second home movies season one disks and took a nap like a loser..Hey, I can't expect THAT many people to want to hang out with me in one weekend can I? I still had funn..I talked to Lacey in the morning about something she wanted that they had at target, and she said she'd call me back later and we could go together and get it..but alas no phone call. meh. Oh well. well yeah, I guess I can understand how things will be temporarily awkward between us for a little while, as they should be I guess. But I really just want to be his friend for a while, either way. I mean..I don't know why its so hard. Maybe he hates me. I dunno. It was just lame that he had to make this whole decision into a big production of life and death..It's just the fucking movies..You don't need to be that dramatic. If he hadnt been all "ill think about it" for a while I could have made more solid plans to see it with nikki, or we could have seen it last night or something. I only waited for him because I wanted to keep my word, since he was the first person I asked about the movie and I didn't want to ditch him like that. But I guess I'm trying to be a better friend then he wants me to be, or I'm a better friend to him then he wants to be to me..or something like that. well whatever I guess. I mean hopefully things will all work out in time. I just get paranoid that everyday I don't end up hanging out with someone, that I'm somehow burning my bridges or something. And I really need friends right now, I do. I mean im trying not to be a loser or to be annoying about it, but I'm also realizing that one has to put in some effort in getting and keeping friends, which is something I never really realized. So im trying..And I hope it works out okay. Thats probably a really lame thing to worry about, but I can't really help it right now. On saturday they all went to the mall and they actually even invited me but I couldnt go cause of sarinas party..but then I was all sad about it..Like..that would have been the first time in a long while hanging out with all of cassie lacey seth and dave and stuff, and I think we have a lot of fun together. But oh well. I mean the opportunity will come up soon again I hope. Annd..yeah. I have some vocab crap to do but I really really don't want to do it. ugh. poo. 7:10 p.m. - 2005-01-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||