compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- merry fuckin christmas so today I just resolved to stay home. I needed a break from so much bullshit, really. But now i feel somewhat detatched. I really wish someone would call, or that I had an excuse to call someone. Like..call someone and then they'd be like..hi..you called for? what would i tell them. "im detatched. and lonely." Then i'd just be a freak. heh. I want to call seth in particular, but that would be the only reason i could think of giving him if he asked..soo..yeah. Although i do want to call. Well he's probably either out or tired from work anyway. And ill see him tomorrow. I've concocted a few daydreams of what i'd wish would happen tomorrow. But i probably shouldn't share them yet because they say when you tell others your wishes they won't come true. After tomorrow, perhaps. I mean not like im thinking any of them will come true, but one can always dream. ha. it doesnt even feel like christmas. I'm not really expecting much gifts, but im excited about the ones im giving away. Although in reality I doubt those people will be as excited as I am giving them the presents. Yeeeah. I hate wrapping things now. I used to like doing it, i don't know why. I mean gifts isnt what its "all about". But still. I dont know. Today i sat and stared at our tree and I just felt nausious. Okay, so maybe if i was happier my nausiousness would have been excitement. There isnt too much to be excited about though this year really, just my daydreams and the break im getting. I've tried the eggnog, the chestnuts, the mall, the songs, the movies...but nothing is making it feel like christmas. Just another excuse for stupid people to make money. That's how it feels this year. Depressing. I'm watching ferris buellers day off. thats pretty exciting. I'm definettely a Cameron. It's depressing. 9:10 p.m. - 2004-12-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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