compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i don't want to destroy your tank top.. so yeah. today we went to the aquarium. It was pretty..aquarium-y. but it was fun hanging out with kerry and sara and ben. we all just kind of wandered around and sat and made fun of people, pretty much. well not in a mean way really.. so there are some quotes of the day.. "at least you don't look like the devil anymore" "wow amy, im surprised your pick up lines didn't work on seth" "call the police, theres a player on the loose (i guess its funnier when alicia says it)" (the sales guy I bought somethiing from talking..)"yeah..you gave me five cents extra..so ill just keep it here in my pocket, okay?" hahaha. oh man. good times. People are ridiculous sometimes. You just gotta wonder. So on our way home I got really sleepy on the bus, and all of a sudden all these seth memories came up. Like, not like ive really stopped thinking about it at all or anything, but ive been kind of trying to block it. They didn't really put me in a bad mood though. I dunno. You know how sometimes you're sleepy, but you don't feel like going to sleep. Like..not sleepy enough to be asleep necessarily, but sleepy enough to be calm and content. Sort of. Anyway thats kind of how I felt. then i finally got to see him after school today, and i wanted to talk to him, but i needed to see dave and lacey for something, and so i asked him where they went..and then he had to go..yeaah. Then jessica kind of gets in my face and keeps bothering me asking if im still mad at her. It's just like..ugh. go away. I mean im not really mad at her. Just kinda annoyed. I don't like telling her stuff period, really, and the fact that she thinks we're best friends kind of gets annoying after a little while. I dont know. I've just not been in a good mood lately, and im sick of it. I wonder how journalism went today without me. Like how people are still talking about the "racist" comment I made or something. I mean i don't know if they are. I hope not. Honestly, i didn't even really think about it that much after that schoolday ended, and it only bothered me enought to write about it yesterday when nida was telling me how all these people were *still* pissed. Don't they have lives? Did i NOT explain myself? If they didnt get it then its their own fault. But like..I dunno. People should be able to tell from my actions that i'm not a racist, and people should have enough of a life to move on. So i came home and had a nice long nap. But now i still feel sick. It has ocurred to me that i havent felt unsick in a while, probably since the day seth kissed me, and i still probably felt a little sick but i didnt care or something. I mean something is always messed up with me. Either its my stomache, or cramps, or im too cold, or im too hot, or my face is breaking out and pissing me off, or im depressed, or i feel nausious, or im feeling particularly insecure, or all of the above. I mean..is it like that with everybody? I dunno. I wish i could have one day where i wasn't in some sort of pain. That would be nice. I mean im sure some people may have moments of no pain. And im not old or anything yet, I think im entitled to it. Just for a little bit. I dunno. i probably should move my ass more, maybe then i'd feel better. But yeah. and still i sit here. man..all the presents i got for people i kinda want to keep. I mean i love my friends, so i wont. But yeah. I feel like im a fucking do-gooder here, because the people i put the most thought into their presents, I'm not expecting anything back really. Like seth. I got seth something that I think he'll LOVE. I seriously don't think he got me anything, and i don't really expect him to either. I mean its fine if he doesnt. well a card or a note would be nice. But really I'm not expecting anything. and recently i've been building castles in the air about how this whole situation will play out. I dunno. It's kind of fun, and everything seems plausible. i guess I should hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Well, I dunno. Part of me is just telling me to have faith, that things will get better. The other part is just telling me to give the fuck up and go home. I mean..I guess both can apply. I guess i can give up for the time being but have faith that things will change. But i dunno. I really don't. So..Okay..well i don't think seth reads this, so i can tell you what i got him. Its the DC comics encyclopedia. Its really awesome, i've been looking through it and have been delaying wrapping it until i absolutely have to, cause its just awesome. There was a frickin...squirrel superhero named Ch'p. And there was an Indian (the eastern kind..or should i say desi..) girl superhero called Celsius, who was pretty much played by her husband, a redhead with blue eyes. hahaha. okay i guess in comics thats somewhat common. But yeah, that was kinda funny.. And...yeah. all this cool shit is in there. I kind of want it now too. haha. I actually never thought comics books were that cool, like i thought it was all like politically correct crap about white guys in suits. But it really isnt. A lot of it reflects history, mythology, and the political beleifs of the writers. It's a lot cooler then i thought. Yeah. and blah blah blah. So for some reason i asked my mom to bring me mcdonalds when she got back from work..and now its sitting in front of me and i'm having trouble eating it, cause we're watching supersize me in anatomy. It may be the end of my mcdonalds days soon. 9:01 p.m. - 2004-12-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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