compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- so farrr away so..yeah. work today was ok. well meh. but it was better then yesterday. I'm treating is like one big sarcastic joke. HAHAHA. im cleaning lady. HA. wait in a couple of years and you assholes will be wiping MY shit. ha..ha. So you know, hopefully there will be some poetic justice/irony in this job. So i guess im over yesterday's occurence. sort of. It still kind of makes me sad, but the good thing is that i dont have to talk or look at ethan for the summer most probably, unless i run into him somewhere. If i do then now i can be mean to him and not feel guilty. so my first-grade-crush worked today at my shift. Everytime i ran into him, which tended to be more then anyone else (or maybe just cause i didnt notice it with other people) we'd just be all awkward about it. We were going through a little area in opposite directions, and he stepped aside and motioned for me to go first. i guess its just a courtesy thing. but i liiiked it. and work today was 1 and a half hours shorter then yesterday, plus my supervisor wasnt there..but i still kept busy somehow. there is this one guy there, that either hates me, or wants to fuck me, or both. he'll like say something overly polite to me or wave, and then turn around and do something that i cant see and then all his friends will laugh. Maybe i should just punch him in the face. i dont know. While i was emptying the tea he turned the other brewer's nob thing on so the tea was running on the table, but i saw him like a second after he started doing it so he went "oh..sorry"..yeah..like "oh im an asshole, sorry"..Yeah. I think it may just be him making fun of me because i'm not black and he is...I dont know. anyways i was happy to get home. except i couldnt have a nice shower because there was no warm water. poo. so then today i finally talked to cassie and lacey, and hopefully we'll go somewhere tonight before im off for the retreat next week. I also finally got to talk to zakk, but he imed me as i was on the phone with lacey so it was hard talking to him at the same time. Then my phone was dying and i wanted to talk to zakk anyway so i ended the conversation with lacey, and then zakk just signed off. psh. i sent him an email though. hopefully he responds. or gets back online. or something. because i wanted to talk to him tooooo. :(. He said our conversations are getting less and less passionate. But i think its only because im busy when i end up talking to him. I wish he'd just get back online. right now. am i a loser for caring about this so much since he really is just another person online? meh. probably. so now i need to come up with a work personality. something that i can act as consistently at work that is polite, funny, but sharp and real. or at least seems to be. because i cant really be my cynical self cleaning crap. it just wont work. anyone have any ideas? I'm going to create another me. for work. So then i can create my cleaning job into an acting job, which at least will give it more meaning, sort of. any ideas? 5:31 p.m. - 2004-07-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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