compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- shouldnt please everyone. hm. Yeah. So im sitting here in my pjs and im supposed to get picked up in half an hour. Ill get to moving after this entry I guess. So. Yeah. Yesterday was pretty fun. We had a surprise party for Sara at her church, and 2 bands performed and a bunch of people came. Not as many as we expected, but in some ways that was good cause I liked all the people that came. Well for the most part.. The bands turned out to be really cool. From what I had heard of them they seemed like assholes, but they were actually pretty nice. Annnd..hot. ha. of course. After that we went to see Secret Window. Good movie. Most of the people that came just came to see Johnny Depp again though. heh. Then we went to the Pizza Hut parking lot were we were intending to play pool, but just hung around the lot until it rained then kind of went home eventually..So..I tried pot yesterday. it was kind of like I suspected, but i didnt get high or anything since it was my first time i guess..I was just really hungry, buti htink that had to do with not having any real food all day yesterday though. Everyone refuuused to go all the 10 feet to pizza hut with me so i just got pissed and gave up. Now I feel kind of bad about smoking, kind of the same way I felt about getting drunk. But in the same respect I probably would have felt bad for not trying it either. Curiosity kills the cat. I dont know. I dont even know if its bad to smoke. I mean i think it is when you make it into this big deal and make it into like..an exclusive club..but I dont know if it is all that bad from time to time. But I still feel bad about it. Its kind of hard to explain. er. hm. Some people are just really hard to figure out. Randhal wrote in her diary that she cant hang out with me unless shes being a "rebel". I dont get it. Im not a rebel at all. I just am. Apparently everyone at church thinks I'm a bad seed. I just dont get it. I just sit there and mind my own business and listen and smile when I'm supposed to, but still everyone thinks im some closet horrible person. I guess Im a lot less sheltered then a lot of those kids, and I know I do a lot more things that are probably questionable. but there are a lot of kids like that. I dont htink im a rebel..I mean im not trying to be different. I dont know. ugh. whatever. Ill never be able to please ANYONE. oh fucking well is what ill eventually say to that. Like last night I gave some people that i previously didnt like a chance, and now theyre not so bad. Or maybe theyve just grown up since last time I saw them. who knows. eh. I still feel like crap about a lot of things. What I dont care about though is shitty people who you level yourself enough with to apologize to for something that was actually their fault to begin with, then they give you all this high-and-mighty bullshit about how they dont care anymore because they are so much more mature and learned then everyone else they know. Fuck that. I really TRY to like people like that, I do. I try to convince myself that I don't like them because it really is my fault, but then i try to talk to them about it and they say all this bullshit about how theyre right anyways. i hate people like that. I hope they eventually get whats coming to them. Especially when they start fucking drama and victimize themselves all the time. One day they actually WILL be victims, and then we'll see what happens then. karma is a bitch. Well.. I guess I better go now and change and whatnot. 10:01 a.m. - 2004-03-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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