compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what would you say? haha..man.. I was just reading my old saved conversations from 8th grade..and i realized what a loser i was. I was always hyper and dumb. If i knew me as i am now i would probably annoy me. I cant beleive i had any friends back then. hahaha. seriously though. I said stuff like: "dija know theres this fish that can live on land in the African Desert for many days?!?" and lets not forget "oh i found this hilarious picture of shrub let me send it to you/isnt it funny?!" oh god. At least i dont think im that bad anymore. But yknow, when im 20 ill look back on this and wonder how i could be so stupid. For a while i was worried i hadnt changed, that im still the shitty person i was back in like..first grade. Now..After thinking about it..Im not, at all. I may like some of the same things i guess..But i keep my mouth shut. I know when to not talk to stop talking. At least i think i do. More then i did in like...8th grade at least. In fact, sometimes i think i ought to talk more in awkward situations. Now i just dont say anything at all, when i used to try to make conversation and end up looking stupid. "I have often regretted my speech, but never my silence." -Xenocrates Ive just..i dont know..become more mellow i guess. I stole that out of alicias profile by the way. I ought to get off of this computer sometime. Here i am eating spaghetti and writing about how much ive changed in the past couple of years. Man..im trying to think...who have i been friends with from 8th grade and and still talk to...Mike! yes. thats right. Thats so weird. he must have been my age when i started talking to him when i was in like..7th grade. I was probably a huge huge tool then. I dont know how he could have put up with me. Not that he ever met me or anything, but still, online. And then i had to go and like him right after 8th grade that summer. I wonder how that *really* went down with him. I guess not so much anyway because its not like he knew me in person..He probably thought i was the most annoying girl in the world. haha. I know I would've. I'm trying to think about what I've gained recently and i don't really know what it is. Maybe nothing. Maybe im still really that annoying. But looking at the things ive said, i dont think things like that would have ever come out of my mouth now. haha. Well i dont know. I mean..i wasnt annoying ALL the time in 8th grade. I'm trying to say that..I know how i felt about things, and i wasnt really ingenuine or anything. Its just..i probably came off as annoying to people i was nervous around. I hope im not like that anymore. Yeah. Anyways. Im a big loser for thinking about this and actually writing it in this thing. And if you will excuse me, my spaghettis getting cold and im getting sleepy. So i will..uhm..talk to any of you who happen to read this whenever. 8:22 p.m. - 2003-01-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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