compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fuckety fuck fuck fuckeroo. i wonder if anyone reads this anymore. if youre reading this, sign the guestbook so i know that something of mine still sees the light of day sometimes. blah im so tired. I let small trivial things shift my emotions and moods way too easily. It takes too little to make me sad, and a lot more to make me happy. argh. I hate that. Today..i feel crappy cause..i dont know really. Just some girl, she said hi to matt--haha man do i sound hellof possessive right now. Crazy possessive. and thats what gets me. I know it SHOULDNT matter, and that its nothing really, but it still makes me feel like im losing him somehow. I couldnt stop thinking about him all weekend after i saw him at the mall on friday, quite honestly. Which is very sad. Very sad indeed. I didnt get any sleep saturday night because all i thought about was matt and just..other stupid stuff. I mean i was happy all weekend cause i saw him and because of kerry's party, and all excited about what i got her, and cause i went to the mall with sara. Finally people that i think actually like me. Well i've just gotten so sick of wendy and tuyen and all of them. I mean tuyen isnt really like wendy or anything, but her just hanging out with wendy so much..it seems to rub off. The whole "i hate everyone for no reason and im going to act miserable even though theres nothing wrong so i can be sarcastic and cool". that gets really annoying after a while. I just annoys me how i can't control my moods. One minute im happy and for the next....year....im depressed as all hell. For stupid reasons too. Like this. Matt said i didn't listen today when we were talking cause he was like "tuyen is booksmart" and i said somethign like..no, but, tuyen is actually smart. not just like that smart, but-- and then he said.."yeah i just said she was smart"..or something..and i said "book smart.." and then he said something like "yeah thats what i said--someone doesnt listen." argh. dammit. I needlessly destroy myself in thinking about stupid stuff like this so much. Its horrible how only a couple of people mean so much to me and how a lot of everyone else means nothing. blaaah. Im tired and i feel crappy. and...motherfucker. I don't even have words for anything anymore. on a more superficial note-- i got new shoes. theyre nice. bowling-esque shoes. and a new shirt with long sleeves and tinkerbell on it. And the new LOTR extended dvd. Godammit. Matt got new shoes too.. 3:13 p.m. - 2002-11-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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