compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- racist assholes and violins yeah theres nothing about racist assholes here sorry. blaah. i feel like shit. i dont know, just so run down. I'm about ready to..curl up and die or something. I feel like im only living for people i don't know. They seem to be more friendly then my friends anyway. wendy forgot her instrument today, and since she goes an hour earlier on wednesdays her dad gave it to me to put into the band room, and when i went in i saw this girl lauren, who seemed all excited to see me. I mean i know that it was just fake politness. but it still seems better. and i saw ambrose and louis and the seniors who are actually not so bad. But i mean..anyways. who reads this. No one. No one reads. No one cares. And i guess that makes sense. why would they. Im nothing but another person to them. My existence has no impact on them besides occasionally getting the time or borrowing a pencil. I got my report card. A's in the classes i like (english, journalism, history), B's in the classes i don't (everything else). Well, i thought that was pretty good. Matt got the same thing. Not in the same classes though. And sara got all A's and 1 B. I mean. god. I thought i wasnt doing so bad..But i mean. Everyone else is still doing better then me at everything. So it doesnt really matter I guess. God, I really hate certain people sometimes. And it's late, and I'm up, thinking about stupid shit. I just..want to..go away for a very long time. Why the hell can everyone else be so happy and me feel like shit all the time. I hate myself. I mean, i can say that because no one reads anyway. I hope that some people i gave my journal address to last year don't come here anymore, because none of those people know me. In fact I didn't even like half of them. I dont like half of anybody. Im thirsty, and i feel like crap. And this light is bright, too too bright. 10:52 p.m. - 2002-11-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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