compie's Diaryland Diary

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back to that chairage thing.

im coming to the reality of the year being over. I dont want it to be. I mean, school sucks and all, but theres nothing to do here. And i hate this kind of change. I wont be a freshman next year. Im not ready for all of this. I still feel new to this whole high school thing. fuck, there should be a height requirment to all this growing up. I mean, its not a big thing, but the fact that i look young makes me also feel like im not ready for any of this. Why cant i just fucking be normal. It would make me feel so much better. Thats like...half of my problems. If i was normal matt would like me. If i was normal i could be more confident. if i was normal i could legitimately be a sophomore next year. fuck. I think that guy from the clerks put it best "when i was little and i had to take a shit, even though i was potty trained i just shat in my pants"
"what the hell? thats disgusting.."
"no..well..i mean..im not the type to change my situation in order to..lets say..shit comfortably."
I feel like everythings changing way too fast. Then theres the whole matt situation..ill ask him if he wants to hang out this summer maybe..i dont have the nerve to ask him to his face so ill write a comment in his yearbook about it. thats provided he asks me to sign his yearbook. but why wouldnt he...i mean we are friends..but maybe hell be nervous. or maybe he hates me. i dunno. he took a picture of diana and eric in our last english class. Eric was beating diana up and he took a picture. shit. maybe he does like diana. i dunno. everything right now about everything is so confusing, and i dont want it to all end before i can figure it out.

12:45 a.m. - 2002-06-09

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