compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- will I end up where I think, only God really knows so yeah. okay. my new years: my dad and stepmom picked me up, we drove to annapolis and hung out for a couple hours. It was nice weather (relatively. We went around walking around the Naval Academy. For some reason, they have marines (and not seals) gaurding the place. But i guess i shouldnt complain cause the guy that checked our IDs was kind of cute. ha. Marines always kind of remind me of Jon. meh. yeah.anyway. So i was in a generally happy mood from the latest I had heard from seth: "so..amy..can i ask you something? I mean you dont have to answer if you don't want to.." "okay..yeah. what is it?" "do you still like me?" "well....yeaaah" (It sounded painful) "why 'yeaaah'?" "well I don't know. like i like you a lot. But I don't know. I mean..do you still like me?" "I never stopped liking you." (what??? get that. he "never stopped liking me." that line is up there with the likes of "you had me at hello.") me: *somewhat speechless* well..yeah. so I dunno. what are you asking? "well...I just want you to think about us pursuing something. Its up to you if you want to or not." "well--(i start rambling)--yeah. i dunno. i mean i like you a lot. but i don't want to be hurt again like that..I dunno." "well its just something I want you to think about..you don't have to decide right now, just be thinking about i guess." "well..yeah..okay. yeah. i will. i am. i mean, i have. but i am. Well, what about kim? I mean i'd like you to at least TRY not to do that to me again. If she asked you out tomorrow would you say yes?" "well..im giving her until this saturday. Cause we're supposed to hang out and i haven't talked to her face to face about anything..So after that its definite, but im not entirely sure yet." (ugggh. why cant he make up his mind.) "well..if she asked you out next week would you say yes?" "no." "okay..well..yeah. okay." Yeah. So faith has brought me to this point. So i figured the more faith I had the more likely this will all work out. Cassie is the only friend I have that reassures me that eventually everything will work out nicely. It's a nice thought. If I have faith then it will. so ANYWAY. I was relatively happy because of that. We went to this old looking store in annapolis. At first i was like..eh. cause the windows were all yellowed and they had wrappings and cheap sunglasses in the display case. But we went in and it was pretty cool. The guy working there must have been about 80 if not older. Annnnd..he was selling harmonicas. So i got one. Its nice. Im gonna learn how to play. And therefore become coooler then I already am (ha). So yeah. They were having fireworks at annapolis, but my dad didnt want to stay that long. So we went to this thai restaurant. yeaah. it was nice. then we went home, watched this terrible movie and fell asleep, woke ourselves up in time for the last 15 minutes of 2004, and had some champagne thing (it was some other drink), and then went to sleep. yeaah. a little anti climactic. But i cant complain. I got a harmonica. And things finally seem to be looking up (relatively). So yeah. But that was my new years. The next day we drove to the eastern shore, and ended up in some vacant parking lot with a lot of seagull shit everywhere. Nice. But it was nice weather again. And i was still happy. So I call him today. To get the final verdict on the kim situation. And also to find out what number my parking space is (long story.) So yeah. well..Him and kim are not together anymore. They "can't be" because her parents won't let her be with him or something. well..ugh. Its definettely releiving, but i don't know. Thats a terrible way to end any relationship. The whole "my parents" thing. I mean, it finalizes nothing, and..I dont know. I'd rather it be one of their own choices not to be together. I guess in a way its kims, because she's choosing to obey her parents wishes rather then see seth. But..eh. I don't know. Things are going to be tough. Somehow I figure that everything will work out, but i know its going to be tough. I don't know now. Like, I really like him, and being with him would make me happy. But at the same time I can't really be with him if he's still wishing he was with kim. I don't want it to be like "oh well i cant have kim, so i guess i can date you." ew. No. I dunno. I know one day it won't be like that. But things are complicated right now I guess. ugh. Why can't anything be simple? man..But anyway, things are still relatively hopefull. He seemed upset when I talked to him today, which would be understandable. but when I asked him what was wrong he said it was nothing. I dunno. Well he had to go out and told me he'd call me when he came back. So hopefully he does and either he's feeling better, or I find out whats wrong and its not about kim (even though it will be completely understandable if it is...but..yeah. i dunno). He seemed perfectly fine before he found out why she broke up with him, and now he seems upset. But it may not be because of kim, although right now from what i know that seems like the most likely thing. I mean..I dunno. I'll talk to him later I guess. Things are relatively good. I can't complain. so anyway. yeah. 12:51 p.m. - 2005-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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