compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sober aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all i do is daydream about being productive. I dont ever get off my ass and actually do anything. Maybe after this post I will. Maybe. So..yeah. I got drunk on friday. Not that drunk though. I mean i wasnt drunk enough to get myself in any real trouble, and i could type ok (refer to last post), i remembered about 80% of that night..I didn't even wake up with a hangover. Well i had a little bit of a emotional hangover. I just woke up pissed off. And i had a stomache ache..but not too big of a deal. I sat in bed all day yesterday. Well i got a haircut too, then layed in bed the remainder of the day. I cant say exactly what i was pissed off about, because it was everything. I'm kind of mad at myself for getting drunk since im always mad at my friends when they do it..Then again the ones that I get mad at do it way more often. I dont know. I dont plan on doing it again for a while..Then i was kind of mad about how i was treated when i was drunk. I wasnt THAT bad. we went to jessicas and these boys from my school were over. I was trying to be nice to them but they were acting really arrogant and kept asking if i was drunk. It wasnt even being nice like hitting on. Like really trying to be drunkenly friendly. I asked this one guy who was swinging a baseball bat what he was doing and he wouldnt tell me. then i told him he looked like a baseball player (not in a mean way or anything) and he defensively told me i looked like a jockey (since im small i guess)..I told him ive seen him in school and he arrogantly told me hes never noticed me. When i asked him again what he was ddoing with the baseball bat, his friend's stupid gf that looked like a crackwhore and had square eyebrows told me he was "going to beat my ass" with it. I really wanted to turn around and tell ehr how ugly she was, especially on account of me being drunk..but i luckily wasnt drunk enough to do that. In a way i wish i did say something to her though. He had a motorcycle and i told him i liked it, and he said something mean back. I forget what it was though. And THEY wernt even drunk. as far as I know. I dont know. In some ways it was fun but in others it wasnt. I dont think i want to ever go to a party and get wasted. People will probably be bitches to me there too. So I felt guilty about it..I mean. I was also kind of pissed off that I felt crappy enough to get drunk in the first place. I was kind of mad at my tennis coach for neither telling me if i was getting any better nor helping me with anything that I sucked at, but i was also glad i was beating this one girl he made me play. I was also mad because this guy I liked a little likes this girl i dont like too much. It wouldnt bother me if he liked anyone but her..but its her..and even guys i dont like that like her bother me. But im over it now i guess. I kind of developed shallow crushes on 3 guys, so one down and 2 to go is alright with me. I was also mad because my friends all ignore me and never invite me anywhere. Theyll talk to me but whenever they plan something theyll do it right in front of me and not invite me. I hate it. Im mad because like right now, im not productive at all. All i do is sleep. I think after I'm done this entry Ill start to work on my portfolio. Theres a show tonight i wanted to go to. I have a ticket and all. my moms on the phone though so i cant call for a ride and i have crap to do anyway. I want to go but i doubt i will. Plus i havent asked if i could go either. so. yeah. er. 4:50 p.m. - 2004-03-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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