compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i love the eight-tees hello. i know no one reads this anymore, so now im not afraid to be totally and brutally honest with anyone in here. ugh, this weekend sucked. Well, i guess it was okay. Ive just been pissed off for a little while about how things tend to go for me and for anyone else im close to. nothing ever works out. I guess this is a stupid way to feel. I mean, nothing of real seriousness ever happened, or ever happens. Yeah. instead of feeling depressed like i usually do, which im sick of, im just going to get pissed of. I guess thats better, at least its a change, right? Yeah. I hate people. I know almost everything is in my head, and i have the tendency to irrationally get upset over things that mean nothing. but then again, if thats so, nothing ever means anything. Anyways, enough of the vague-ness. I didnt really do anything this weekend. I got to sleep, which was nice, cause ive just been tired of everything. Im still a little tired though. ugh. brandon likes some freshman girl. He also liked krystie and heather, which is why i dont care anymore. he likes the stupidest girls, and i think its to reassert his..for lack of better word.."greatness". I mean, and they dont even like him. Krystie doesnt like him like that, heather has a boyfriend, that freshman girl katie obviously isnt crazy about him. If he likes girls like that, even if he had them it wouldnt mean anything, cause theyre..well..yeah. And i guess i cant help him anyways cause he would never like me. Thats okay, fuck it. thats what i told to jessica. Jessica is all "oh youre just jealous". Thats because jessica is like an old computer. I mean, she only sees things in about 16 shades. So just like torqouise is green, just like that my frustration translates into jealousy. Whatever. Thats why im frustrated with jessica, and why i never hang out with her anymore. okay, well maybe im not entirely sure if anyone reads this. so just to be safe i wont mention certain peoples names. But yeah, i feel bad for amanda. Just, cause..the boy she likes likes this girl who happens to be my friend. After she flirts with him all the time. I dunno, this certain girl is kind of been annoying me lately. I mean this whole year shes been making out with random guys, and i guess now she thinks thats shes some goddess or something. Maybe im jealous. This is something that i actually could be jealous about. The only thing is, i dont like any of the guys that like her, its just..I dunno. shes becoming a little bit of a slut. And it sucks that because of that all these guys like her. On the upside, tennis has been alright. Last year i would come home and do my hw as soon as i was home, but this year i procrastinate until like ten o clock. I really need to stop that. I hardly even play in tennis. Its still fun though, except for one of our managers, and this annoying bitchy freshman girl. Everyone else is really awesome. In fact, i kind of like someone on the tennis team. Hes really quiet but in a self assured way, and hes nice when he does talk. He smiled at me in the hallway. Hahaha. Im an idiot for smiles. They probably mean nothing (or do they) but i find myself overanalyzing them..and.yeah. Man, you know what i miss? My friend mikes stories. I cant find them floating online anymore. They were the best. I remember the summer before last, i used to sit in my aunts basement until 2 in the morning, with her lime green fuzzy carpet and the smell of gasoline, and i used to sit there and just talk to mike and read his stories. it was nice. blah, im a failure. hahaha. 5:56 p.m. - 2003-04-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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