compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH i will stare at the sky just looking for a star to prey on a wish or somethin like that i was havin a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy whose reality i knew was hopeless to be had and then dove of hope began its downward slope and i beleived for a moment that my chances were approachin to be grabbed but as it came down so did a weary tear....ithought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag but i want him to bad it kills cause i know im a mess he dont wanna clean up i got fold cause these hands are too shaky to hold hahaha. this is what i write when im too lazy to write up an entry.. well now that im here, might as well... hmm yeah well..The weekend was pretty good. no fights with veena. On friday we went to see one of my dads clients who owns a pizza place. He was HOT. no, really. I think he was like, 23...and yeah and he looked like a greek god. he was married though. dammit. hahaha. and then on saturday i worked a little at the office..it was actually a legitimate job..i had to find the addresses of like..150 clients and write up folders for them and do other stuff. and then we went to a party. there were some cute guys there..but i didnt know anyone so i kinda kept to myself. and on sunday i worked again updating their inventories on excel cause one of their computers crashed. hah yeah and i ot 50 bucks whoohoo. Time to buy some dvds. Preferably dogma and romeo+juliet. okay so ive been a little messed up today. Yesterday i was up till like...4 or later. i was attempting to get to bed a little earlier, but..i saw this huge centipede on my ceiling..and i was too scared to kill it..and it crawled in this little area between my desk and the wall and i lost it..and then i turned off the tv and attempted to sleep..but i couldnt cause i was too scared. I was in a cold sweat and had the blankets pulled up to my head but it was waay too hot for blankets and i was scared shitless that this little 100 legged creature would eat me alive or something... ..and im still on edge. today when i woke up jessica had to convince me to get out of bed because i was too scared to walk on the ground in fear of some large centipede lurking somewhere there..and like...the whole day ive been on edge. i keep on looking at the walls and im making sure my feet arnt touching the ground..and i feel like there are bugs all over me. man..bad trip. thats what this feels like. A really bad trip. heh, of course, not that i know what bad trips are like..but i mean aaah! i feel so paranoid i havent been this psychologically fucked up ever. its a odd feeling and its definettly not cool. dont develop phobias like me and dont do the hard shit..it can make your bad trips probably worse then what im feeling right now. 10:55 p.m. - 2002-07-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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