compie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- let me be, what i need perfect.. lalala. aah. Its SO nice not having school for all these days. Its like..wintervacation all over again, but you appreciate it even more because you have to hope for a day or two at a time. so nice. I spent most of my day at amandas today. Its so fun over there. i dont know..we just went to best buy, where she got a bunch of cds and i got the smashing pumpkins greatest hits. Yeah. I was GOING to get the sims but it so happend that i didnt have enough money in my wallet although i have enough..at home..dammit. its okay though. toys r us has it on sale. yeah. anyways. im beginning to sound so fucking materialistic in here. well we came back to her house and watched fight club and had pizza. fun times. well..one of my mom's friends died today. i mean..i never know quite how to handle these things. he had a heart attack. He was about 50 or so. But yeah. i had just seen him a couple days ago. But yeah. I mean i guess i shouldnt care that much. he wasnt my friend and its not like a get along with my mom, so hes not even a friend of a friend. but still. here today gone tomorrow. its crazy. I guess im still in shock. I never absorb the fact that people die. I just think that they stopped existing or went somewhere else. its hard to explain. Like, when my godfather died, or when my mom had a miscarraige, i never cried. and i feel bad that i can cry over things like rejection and a broken heart, but i can never cry over a death. what the hell..i must be really selfish or something.. now i dont really know what to say..I saw brandon yesterday. i never got to talk to him though..he was in his room but i didnt want to bother him. the other day i was on the phone with amanda and brandon was like "is that amy? tell her i said hi! hi amy! i know you love me!" haha. it was so cute. godammit im a tool. I think hes the type of guy that would make out with me if i was around, but only just to fuck with me or something. haha. or maybe not. granted, ive never talked to him and probably know him as well as i know some celebrity or something. ah. the smashing pumpkins are so..mellow-ing. god i love this cd. 9:36 p.m. - 2003-02-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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